Your dad wore flannel before you did and he still has the Pendleton to prove it. In his woven expression of manliness, he could emasculate Paul Bunyan with his axe swings while effortlessly making the Brawny Man look like a bitch. Each of his lumberjack tops were broken in by adventure, bear boxing matches, shotgun recoils and occasionally baby vomit. He didn’t donate his plaids when it was time to retire them from his wardrobe. Instead, he gave them viking funerals to honor the tours of duty they served his upper body and set them ablaze at sea to ensure that no lesser man would ever disgrace his shirts by wearing them.
So hipsters, next time you slide your frail body into the most masculine of woven wools with hopes that it, in combination with your shitty beard, will make you seem more rugged, remember this…
Your dad didn’t wear flannel to look tough, he wore flannel because it was tough enough to withstand him.
Thanks to Jesse for today’s photo.
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